Providence.

prov·i·dence [prov-i-duh ns] The foreseeing and guardianship of God over His creatures...a manifestation of His divine care or direction (American College Dictionary)

This word has a lot of meaning to it, both in definition and in my life. 

So why am I talking about Providence?

First things first (this may be one of the most personal things will I blog about). 

The first time I actually learned about the word was through my teacher.

My best friend and I had written a song for our retreat.

We had one problem: we did not have a song name, and we were to perform it in a couple of minutes.

Our teacher just happened to mention the word Providence, all in coincidental terms.

One look and we knew that Providence would be the title of our song.

Since then, I have basically related everything back to Providence. It is kind of my ground, if you know what I mean.

Where I Am From

I am from teddy bears,

            from the numbers 225, 1, and 9.

I am from the sweet tastes of mango pudding and osmanthus flower and goji berry jelly,

            from shattered glass,

            to mended hearts.

I am from the mushroomed, bay-leafed smell of my Dad’s home-cooked roast beef,

            reminiscence of family times.

I am from the constant nagging of my mother,

            all in good intention for a better life.

I am from my ever wandering heart and from Providence,

            from late-night talks by the lake,

            and from 8 to 31 wise Romans who speak the truth.

I am from blood on two large intersecting pieces of wood,

            shed for humanity,

            and from the angels and saints.

I am from the loss of words,

            the search for words,

            and the pen is mightier than the sword.

I am from ribbons and leather,

            to laces and rubber,

            from satin to cotton,

            and from dolphins, to monkeys, to elephants.

I am from little black dots,

            dancing around oodles of pages of lines,

            from the 52 whites and the 36 blacks of life.

I am from worldy travels,

            a black Piccadilly and a silver Parker,

            and the rollercoaster ride of life.

I am from nobody is perfect, nobody can be the best,

            to I need to be perfect, I need to be the best.

Friends, Family, God;

            struggles, confidence, and love;

            this is where I am from.

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This was something I wrote for a drama assignment (got 100%~) and is based of the original Where I Am From poem by George Ella Lyon. It can be found here: http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html

How to make a Beautiful Life

Every year for my birthday, I choose a card for myself to give to my parents to write. The card I had selected this year really captured my attention with the simple life lessons printed onto the covers. I just wanted to share them with you, even if you might have heard something similar before, and even if they might seem somewhat stereotypical.

• Love yourself. Make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.
• Listen to your heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars.
• Try. Take chances. Make mistakes. Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.
• Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have. Make do. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.
• There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to make your own way. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you'v been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.
• Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you. Make a beautiful life...the kind of life you deserve.

Little Thoughts and Tiny Lessons

So, I figured out that I'm not very good at organizing the thoughts in my head at all - there's always too much going on in my brain. It's like, there's so much I want to say but I don't know how to communicate it. I guess that's why I decided to start this blog in the first place, to communicate the little thoughts and tiny lessons I have in my head effectively.

Everything I write just seems to jump around, not getting the main point across. Here is a really good example of something I wrote in my drama class (the topic I had to write about was changes, by the way) without blocking any thoughts from my head:

Changes. Hmm…changes are things that can be for the good, or for the worse. I know I’ve changed even since last year. I see my friends change…I want to keep writing about changes but…my mind is just elsewhere today. I thought changes would be easy to write about. I guess not, with all the irrelevant action in my head. Ah…I just thought of my ISU when I was thinking about “head”…neuroscience! That’s my topic. Oh I really should do my ISU tonight. And action…I really want to read Percy Jackson right now, oddly enough. I’m almost done the 4^th, and then I’d be on to the 5^th one, which I totally forgot and it’s also the last book! Oh…I’ve completely streamed off again…shows just how jumbled up and unfocused my mind is. Easily distracted…bunny! Just kidding, I just thought of careers. And speaking of careers, the grade nines are having their trade show in the theatre area just below us right now. Changes. I should really “change” back to thinking about changes. Haha ironic isn’t it.

...I have no comment...

Anyways, I  just felt like posting this because it's kinda funny and it's just something I struggle with all the time. I hope that I will persevere and overcome.

Also the fact that I haven't posted in months.../guilt